Michael S Messinger
Last Saturday almost a thousand Catholics – myself included
–descended upon
That’s right, during the time after Easter and before
Christmas, when most Catholics aren’t troubled by those pesky days of holy
obligation, their thoughts turn to visions of dating and summer romance. Although the keynote speakers are usually
excellent and the workshops offer a wide variety of interesting topics, it’s a
safe bet that one of the top reasons young Catholics go to FOCUS is to meet
someone of similar faith and values.
“I think most people go to meet that someone special, though
most probably wouldn't want to admit it or word it that way in fear of
appearing desperate,” said Kevin Fitzpatrick, a close friend who moderates a
weekly e-newsletter highlighting social events in the Chicagoland area. ”I don't see it as desperate. I don't think
there's anything wrong with wanting to meet that someone special.”
FOCUS is kind of like the NFL draft for Catholics in that this is where many find potential dating prospects. Some are just looking for people to hang out with while others are trying to find their next significant other. Basically you have a bunch of people running around, trying to meet one another, but also acting like they’re not interested in meeting anyone. The day is divided into pre-conference activities, Keynote Address, lunch and workshops. There is also a mass followed by dinner and a dance at the end of the day.
The pre-conference is an excellent way to meet “the crowd
that isn’t afraid to admit they are there to meet people.” It is usually hosted by two high energy type
individuals who are so enthusiastic you can’t help but want to kill them. They start out with a quick prayer and then
tell you what qualifies them to be there making you listen to them. What they do is put you in the middle of an
empty field and force you to go up to one another and talk for a few minutes
based on some arbitrary criteria like hair color, zip code or hometown parish. After a few minutes of talking they shuffle
you around again. It’s like speed dating
for Catholics.
The next opportunity to meet people comes in the workshops. No matter what the topic, the format for the workshops is the same. First a quick prayer, then the lecturer talks for ten minutes about what qualifies them to speak on this topic. Then you go around and introduce yourself. This can fill twenty minutes easily. Then they talk about last year's workshop. Finally we actually get to the workshop topic. Then everyone gets to ask questions, except time usually runs out and it’s on to the next workshop.
After the last workshop, everyone heads to mass, which ironically doesn’t involve any praying at all. Kidding! There’s nothing but prayer, prayer, and more prayer. There is also flirting and scoping and scouting prospects to see who might be available and who is already matched up. You can really tell the pros from the amateurs by who has stacked up the phone numbers or email addresses at this point.
After the mass, many stay for dinner and the dance which follows. It is at the dance where people make their final “selections” of the FOCUS draft. For most, this is the closing of the deal moment; for others, it is the last chance to ask someone out or at least get a phone number. This can also be the make or break moment for many guys. After spending all day talking to a potential prospect, many a rhythmically challenged guy has lost the interest of a lady because they just don’t have the moves on the dance floor.
For those who didn't find anyone at FOCUS, the next major fellowship event on the YAM Calendar is Theology on Tap. ToT provides similar workshops as at FOCUS, but is held at various parishes throughout Chicagoland. If FOCUS is kind of like the NFL Draft for dating, ToT is the actual Sunday afternoon game where you see everyone in action. This is where people often pick someone up in free agency or if they are released off waivers (i.e. didn’t work out with someone they met at FOCUS).
Catholic Mating – I mean Dating – Season finishes off with a picnic on the
Cardinal’s lawn. By now if you are successful, you’ve met the person you will
date this fall and possibly bring home for Thanksgiving or even Christmas. If
you haven’t met that person yet, this could be your final chance to make it to
the post season. One girl I know -- the classic "had just about given up hope
of ever finding anyone" -- found her boyfriend at this picnic. He
proposed to her on Valentine's Day.